Gently falls the Bakula

TUM NE TO AAAKASH DE DAALA,
MERE NANGE PAIRON MAIN ZAMEEN HAI.
PAAKE BHI KYU TERI AARZOO HAI,
SHAYAD YAHI ZINDAGI HAI.

The lines summarize the feelings of the protagonist in the novel “Gently falls the Bakula” by Sudha Murthy. A beautiful story of a relationship that slowly falls apart with time. A marriage that loses its spark when ambition and success take their toll. How expectations can affect love and commitment.

The story revolves around Shrikant and Shrimati who, once school mates in a small town of Hubli, go on to be husband and wife. From being competitors in the class, to good friends, then life partners and again strangers in the end, the story moves on the lines of Shrimati’s journey of life. The bakula flower is the symbol of their love and the title signifies the breaking of this relationship and bond with time.

Shrimati is a sensitive human being. She portrays the typical Indian woman who sacrifices her career in lieu of a happy family life. She marries for love but her love turns to dust. The novel talks about an unspoken truth that love fades with time. It dies a slow death when it faces the harsh realities of life. Often we ignore the people we love so much and tend to take them for granted. We do not realise that a single act of insensitivity can leave a deep scar in a relationship. Srikant’s callous attitude about his inconsiderate mother and her attitude towards Shrimati leaves a deep hurt in his relationship. To add to it, his unresponsiveness makes a void that slowly becomes impossible to be filled with time.

As for Shrikant, he plays an ambitious bright young man, in pursuit of his dreams. Success is addictable. The ones who get addicted; go for it even at the cost of love and family. It is here when ignorance becomes a habit and not knowingly, one becomes a victim of it. One can relate the character of Srikant with most of the successful people. The people who achieve everything in life at the cost of relationships. People who become machines with time, incapable of thinking about others who have equal share in their success.


It makes us question reality. Does love really exist in this world? I have seen the greatest of relationships breaking with time. The deepest of emotions losing their spark and shine. Change is the essence of life. People change with time and so do relationships. If I would have written this review 10 years back, it would have been totally different. My heart would have definitely ruled my mind. But my perspective has changed today. Experience and age enable you to look into reality with a broader spectrum.

One thing which I did not like about the book is the age old norm of wives cribbing that their husbands do not give them time. When will the Indian woman grow up? There is a world beyond husbands too. Srikant being a broad minded person gave all the liberties to his wife. She was free to pursue her studies and career. She had money to spend at her discretion. She was not living with her in-laws. She had the independence to go on a historical tour with her professor. How many women get such luxuries in life? And yet the only thing she craved was her husband’s time. Something I could not relate to. The end seemed to be an exaggeration too. Infact, if she would have wanted to go to US for her career, her husband would never have forbidden her to do that.

Overall the book is an interesting read. Sudha Murthy’s narration is very simple and the book catches your interest right from the first chapter. Finally the novel gives the moral “Relationships are easy to get into, but difficult to nurture. A bit of time, perseverance, selflessness, patience and care is all  it needs to preserve them.”

Reality shows- Glitz, glamour and glory

Reality shows are a common phenomenon on TV these days. We come across a one on every possible theme. Instant fame and stardom make the people and celebrities going to an extent of taking their most private decisions of life like marriage on celluloid, thanks to the euphoria created around them. Public Swayamwars, girls trying to woo their prospective mothers-in-law, celebrities trying their hand at baby sitting are the latest additions apart from dance shows and music competitions. Several youngsters aspiring to be popular come on the show for a multitude of reasons. Talent hunt seems to be the most popular one.

Reality shows are a shortcut to success. It is a huge platform for ordinary people from all walks of life to showcase their talent. Instant fame and recognition have made these shows very popular. Once you get on the TV, you become a household name instantly. India is not far behind in the number of reality shows mushrooming in every channel of television. Viewers have a lot of choice in terms of shows. Reality television came to India as a welcome break for the audience which had become tired of the never ending saas-bahu sagas. The most watched reality show started on MTV featuring Cyrus Broacha confusing his victims in utter bewilderment on MTV bakra. KBC and Big Boss followed suit and became instant hits.

While the list of reality shows is long that have come and gone or come and stayed season after season, their voyeuristic draw is beginning to fade. As a case in India, when a thing becomes popular, people tend to over do it. The trend of reality TV is on the brink of a collapse. The reason being an over dose of reality. There are all kinds of shows made on every possible theme which actually make a mockery of Indian sensibilities. There are shows that boost about having a glimpse of your previous birth while others talk about bringing out your darkest secrets in front of the people in order to gain TRP's. There seems to be no end to their creativity with newer concepts being introduced which make us question reality in itself. They are surviving on sensationalism rather than reality.

Reality shows have also become a means of peeking into the private lives of celebrities. Moreover, most of these shows are scripted and do not show the truth. The fame of reality show winners is also short lived. They are not able to live their moments of glory for long. They wipe away from public memory the moment the show goes off air.

It is time that the producers realise this fact that the Indian audience has become very choosy in terms of TV shows they watch. The ouster of drama queen Ekta Kapoor from the stage which she once reined is a fact that cannot be overlooked. Also is the easy availability of unlimited foreign channels provided by satellite television, the audience’s taste has remarkably changed for good.

Gulzar - The best

Mujhko bhi tarqeeb sikha koi yaar julahe,
Aksar tujhe dekha hai ye tana bunte,
Jab koi dhaga toot gaya ya khatam hua,
Fir se bandh ke, ya sira koi jod ke usme aage bunne lagte ho,
Tere is tane me lekin ik bhi ganth rahe buntar ki,
dekh nahi sakta hai koi.
Maine bhi ik bar buna tha ek hi rishta,
Lekin uski saari girahen saaf nazar aaati hain mere yaar julahe,
Mujhko bhi tarqeeb sikha koi yaar julahe.

Three hours of distress

All of us must have given an exam at some point in our lives. EXAMINATIONS have always been the most dreaded word for a student since time immemorial. I remember how much I used to crib over them and detest my teacher who would be roving around me giving a reminder of every second ticking. My heart knows how much I envied her. But the tables have turned today. And alas! The grass did not turn out to be greener at this side of the fence.

My stint as a school teacher has one thing that brings the hell out of me. It is the scare of a three hours long exam duty. Believe me, it is the worst job in the world where you do not do anything. Take unaccountable rounds of the room, try to be as vigilant as possible, endless rounds of distributing sheets and counting every minute on the clock. Three hours of unimaginable torture and boredom. Surviving this time is an atrocious task.

Three hours is a long time. Think about the number of things you can actually do in this span. You can complete a movie in 3 hours. You can listen to 36 songs. You can read 5 magazines or complete the Alchemist. You can surf, chat or reconnect with your friends. One can reach Mumbai from Delhi in three hours and even a T20 match ends in this time. But what do we do? Nothing. Roam around like an idiot without sitting for a moment, try hard to keep focussing on your target or else find something interesting to kill time.

Here it is very remarkable to know what other teachers do in their slotted three hours of agony. We actually have the honour of having the most versatile teachers in our school. So I decided to watch them furtively, trying to interpret their state of mind. Believe me, my observations were mind blowing. I noticed that some fellow colleagues consider this examination duty a golden chance of scoring some bonus points for themselves in the school. You must be wondering how? Well they have a clear cut agenda here which is to catch a student cheating. The higher the number of student one catches, the higher the incentives one gets in terms of being termed a more dedicated teacher. Some of them have a funda which goes like – chill during the session, don’t bother much on the academics, go slow with the syllabus but be extra vigilant during the exam. Catch hold of your 2-3 preys and enjoy the tag of being the most diligent teacher for the rest of the session. Amazing people and their incredible beliefs.

It is notable here that if you happen to have the company of a fellow colleague during your invigilation duty, life seems to be on a roller coaster ride. Not because it relieves your work, but actually for another reason. Ask me why? I might sound very sadist here but I love to see a feeling of comparative misery in the eyes of my colleagues.

I recently had this experience of giving an exam again. And believe me, it was not as dreaded this time as it used to be earlier. I was ecstatic on having the luxury of sitting in an exam for full three hours and derived pleasure from the suffering of the invigilator. I had a hard time to complete my allotted time in the exam as I hardly knew anything but still, I made it a point that I was not going to leave the exam hall before the stipulated 3 hours. Somehow my masochistic drive did not allow me to grant him the liberation of shortening his allotted hours of distress. I sat their solely because of the sake of the invigilator. He had to live through his 3 hours of hell.

Ask my heart, giving an invigilation duty is the worst torment in the world and can well be deployed as one of the persecution techniques in prison cells. Rather than putting a culprit to prison send him for an exam duty instead. I bet, he will never be an offender again. It is my fate that this kind of harassment continues and will continue to be legal in India till the time I choose to be in this profession. So the next time you go for an exam, have some clemency for the one standing on the other side of the desk. One poor creature known as the examiner.

Colours of life

Life is full of experiences in varied colours. Since it has been a long time and I did not get a topic for my new blog, I chose to write something very interesting which happened with me. I love being adventurous and have always been a game for trying new things.
It happened to be a birthday of one of our friends and we decided to celebrate it in style. What followed was not planned. It all started with a customary cake cutting and dinner with friends to commemorate the occasion. We were three couples. Apart from Dev and me, there were Akhil - Shalini(the birthday girl) and Rahul - Nidhi. The kids had their own company and were busy in their selves.

The dinner was arranged in Jaipur’s upmarket Sharma Dhaba right in the spine chilling cold. We were through with our usual masti at around 12 in the night, and being good and decent people, we decided to head for home. Until I got this wild wild idea and everybody jumped to it. I suggested that we should drop the kids home with Nidhi’s maid and we should head for Nahargarh. To those who are not familiar about Jaipur, Nahargarh is actually a very popular tourist attraction here and stands on the edge of the Aravalli Hills overlooking the pink city. Breathtakingly beautiful during the day and equally scary at night. Legends say that it was name after Prince Nahar whose spirit haunted the place and obstructed construction of the fort. It used to be the hunting residences of maharajas. Nahargarh Fort forms a remarkable backdrop of Jaipur and offers a glittering view of the city lights. Presently it is partially in ruins with its deserted places being notorious for people boozing on roads and couples sneaking in for their private moments.

We dropped the kids home made some tea and headed for our next destination. We sneaked into Nahargarh around 1 in the night although the official timings are from 10 to 4. It was now that these people decided to have some fun at my expense. Once we were near to the place, Rahul started scaring me with some ghost stories which he claimed to be true about the spirits haunting the place in night and so on. We were in Akhil’s Scorpio. Rahul was driving and Nidhi was sitting next to him. On the middle seat there were Akhil and Shalini and right at the back was me and Dev. Once we started climbing the hill it was all dark and deserted. We were in the midst of a forest at 1 in the night and Rahul kept on warning us not to open the windows or stop anywhere. To add to it, he even talked about people being murdered at the place and everybody sharing their side of a spooky story they knew or had heard, making it all the more frightening for me. Hats off to Rahul who played his eeriest best that day. I could not take it anymore and I told them to return back. After much pestering, Rahul agreed to return back but he still had this creepy thing in mind.

Suddenly he got very serious and said, “Jokes apart, what I am now going to tell you is something very serious that happened last month here.” Targeting me, he said that there was a couple from Delhi who had hired a driver to have a round of the fort at night last month. Right in the middle of the forest, the driver stopped the car and ran away. He is still not being found by anybody. Before I could feel anything or say anything, he stopped the car, switched off the lights and in split seconds he ran out of the car yelling. It was all dark outside, we didn’t realise what happened and before we could get our breath back, we came from behind and started patting the car from the rear window. GOD!!!!!! I could have died of a cardiac arrest that time. The spectre of actually seeing a ghost was the most bizarre thing I have ever witnessed in life.

To add to it, everybody knew about this plot except me. I did not have the courage to stay there for any longer and yelled at them to go back. I came to my senses once we reached Hawa Mahal. We got down from the car, had tea and wandered round the place till 2.30. We had our share of fun and scare and we returned back at 3 am only to find all the three kids cuddled together with each other in Devanshi’s bed, fast asleep.
This actually was my first brush with terror.

Summer time - Gala Time

SUMMER TIME – GALA TIME



Come vacations and the students slip into festive mood. It’s a time for which they wait all the year through. They make elaborate plans to ensure a gala time. From excursions to summer camps, visiting grand parents to kids alone parties, they have everything on their agenda. Summer Vacations is a time for throwing the heavy back packs into cub boards and chill out.
Apart from fun and frolic, students can also utilize their time simultaneously in planning for their future. The aim of education is not limited to book learning and knowledge. It covers a wider spectrum. As teachers, we should strive to make complete individuals rather than just doctors and engineers. Parents should also realise that every child can not be a topper. The top slot can accommodate only one winner. Therefore rather than stressing your child with studies, summer vacations are also a time to pursue various hidden talents that every child has in him. Dance classes, aerobics, yoga, singing, skating, swimming, acting, are various activities that bring out the best in a child. It gives an expression to their personality. Therefore, summer time can be best utilised in such endeavours. It is absolutely necessary for the parents to give their kids the freedom to chase their dreams in vacations. Unlike other nations, we are a nation where a child is evaluated only on his percentages and grades. In this mad race for the best scores for their children, parents knowingly subvert their hidden talents. Probably, this is the reason why an Indian is still not a world leader in fine arts, sports etc. Educational institutions should utilize the summer vacation time to nurture these hidden skills in the students.

Summer vacations are also a perfect time to work on your weaknesses. Students have ample time at their discretion to improvise their writing and speaking skills. Short courses on language speaking are a boon. Students should spend at least one hour daily in reading good literature. If not books, newspapers always come handy and can be read anywhere. It serves a dual purpose of developing your reading skills and also makes to updated with the current happenings around you.

So let your kid unleash the hidden talent in him and allow him the freedom to be. Who knows if he can be the Picasso or Einstein of tomorrow?

Relevance of religion

Relevance of Religion in Promoting Values for Communal Harmony


Religions are many and diverse, but reason and goodness are one. As a child, I used to hear a line which says that a religion always preaches us to be good. I wonder if this line is still relevant in the present scenario.


Religion is the most commonly misunderstood word today. People use this word to fulfil their own selfish motives. Hindus use their religion to encourage untouchability and caste discrimination. Muslims use Islam to spread violence in the name of Jehad. Sikhs had separatist tendencies while Christians always tried to prove themselves as a superior race. Whatever may be the reason, religion always emerges to be the loser. No religion supports violence. Those who resort to violence in the name of religion are doing a disservice to their faith and humanity at large.

Guru Nanakji once said in one of his sacred books, “There is but one God. His name is Truth. He is the creator, He fears none. He is without hate, He never dies, He is beyond the cycle of births and death, He is self illuminated, He is realized by kindness of the true guru. He was true in the beginning, He was true when the ages commenced and has ever been true. He is also true now.”

Religion and communal harmony go hand in hand. Religion is needed in the formation of character. The idea of communal harmony is not possible in the absence of an organized religious way of life. Modern life has multiplied our desires. And when desires are multiplied without the corrective sense of spiritual values, they lead to greed and lust. Lust for power, money and fame. It finds fresh tools for evil and facilitates greater indulgence in all forms of greed. The only thing that fortifies men against temptation is the religious sense. It is religion that fixes good and sound habits of thought and of external activity. Morals, like empty bags, cannot stand on their own feet unless they are based on religion. And all religions of the world are great as all of them have a message of love and humanism.

When it comes to communal harmony, India has always set an example for the world. Communal harmony, therefore, is the basic building block of our country. Swami Vivekananda’s views during a summit on “Parliament of Religions" in 1893 were thought provoking. He proved to the world that holiness, purity and charity were not the exclusive possessions of any church or mosque in the world and that every system had produced men and women of the most exalted character. His address before the parliament was broad as the heavens above us, embracing the best in all religions and the ultimate universal religion was charity to all mankind and good works for the love of God, not for fear of punishment.

The theme of Gandhiji’s teachings was also similar. He wanted the individual to rise above fear, jealousy and hate. When such individuals combine themselves into a community, the problem of communal jealousy and discord will disappear.

Guru Nanak in his first statement after his prophetic communion with God said, “There is no Hindu or any Mussalman.” If God was to be found, he would be found in the inner chambers of human heart. If a man is intoxicated enough with the name, memory and thought of God, he would experience him in his own self. For Nanakji, such a person was a true yogi and not the one who wore orange robes for appearance sake.

Although India has been a confluence of religious plurality for over two millenniums, we are still far away from developing an inter-religious spirituality in the minds of our people. The rise of communalism is a major threat to our spirituality. The spirit of negativity dominates and shapes our religious attitudes. It is this that leads us to mistake our neighbours to be the enemies of our faith. Though all religions recommend values such as generosity, selflessness and charity, increasingly people resort to religion only to secure limitless and unmerited advantages in this world and the next.

The time has come for us to work earnestly towards evolving a shared spirituality keeping pace with the demands of a secular democracy. The need of the hour is the spiritual renewal and reform of all the religions. The practitioners of a religion have to develop adequate sensitivity and due respect for the religious practices and sentiments of others. We cease to grow when we blindly adopt a religion with all its dogmas. Rather than glorifying ourselves to be superior over others, we need to handle our spiritual heritage with humility and compassion. There is an urgent need to evolve an inter-religious code through mutual consultation. It should accommodate the genius of each religion and minimize the offence of what is unique and different.

We need to set an example of religious tolerance and communal harmony again. Our ancestors have been known to enlighten the world from time to time. It is time for us to depict hope to the world.

“When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.”
And that should be the spirit.